After more than a month of no news and nothingness, things have ramped up in a big way!

Yesterday, I went in for my angiogram – a procedure where they shove a camera up into your heart via your groin so they can see how your heart is doing – as a pre-requisite for the pancreas part of my transplant. Things were actually going really smooth! The IV didn’t hurt going in, I was nicely sedated (which helped knowing that my hoo-ha was pretty much just out there for all of God’s creation to view), and I didn’t really feel any of the wiggling around in my chest from the camera! Then came the results.

Turns out that one of the stents in my heart is completely clogged, as are a few other vessels leading into/out of my heart. My doctor informed us that I may now need to have a heart bypass surgery! Wait, what?? He said that my heart is actually looking really good, but this part has to be fixed. I’m not sure how this wasn’t visible in all the EKG’s, ultrasounds, etc. that I’ve had within the last few months, but it definetly took the wind out of me! I asked him if this was due to anything I had done/not done (diet, lifestyle) or if it was the diabetes, and he said it was 100 percent due to my diabetes. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I absolutely f’ng LOATHE this disease! I’ve learned to live with it, and have even embraced the fact that it’s made me more self-aware with my health and well-being, but damn does it know how to really screw things up at times!

I was told that I now have to put all of my transplant plans on hold and focus on getting my heart fixed first. He’s actually told me this before when I had a heart attack before my last transplant, and it’s not easy to hear. I’ve been building up so much hope for my transplant to happen soon…with no complications this time, but the big D just laughed and said, “Nope! Not until I’ve had another swipe at ya!” Now, I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of this surgery and it being so much more than my transplant. They’re not just putting a shiny new organ in me, they are possibly going to open up my chest and mess around with my heart, of which I have no backup, and the risks involved with that! I know of many people who have had bypass surgery, and they live very healthy active lives, and THAT is what I’m trying to focus on. I’ve had too many people in my family die of heart issues, I don’t want to fall into that category!

Tuesday, I’ll go in for a Viability test to see if my heart tissue can handle a bypass surgery, and then Friday my family and I will meet with the doctor to go over our options. He seems very positive, and I know I’m in good hands, but I’m still going to ask for your prayers! This is pretty terrifying in all aspects… the surgery, the risk, the scars, the possibility of not being able to get a transplant afterwards…so much more than I was planning for. However, I can’t let it keep me down. I still have too much to live for and experience.

I’m not sure how soon the surgery will take place, and what type of surgery it will be yet, but I’ll keep you updated. Right now, my first step is to pray that I pass the Viability Test and know that my heart can handle the surgery. I don’t want to think of the alternative. THEN I can worry about our next steps. This is the only way I know how to keep from getting overwhelmed with this.

Link to donate – http://www.LivingDonorFortWorth.org

(I’m going to start putting this on all posts b/c I’ve had several people ask.)

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Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  Ironically, amidst all of this crap, I DID receive good news regarding my diabetes A1C! I’m down to 6.0!!! That’s the lowest I’ve had it since I was diagnosed 30 years ago! (For those who don’t know what your A1C score is, it’s the number that tells you what your average blood sugar level is over the past 3 months. Normal range is between 4 – 5.6. Diabetics typically aim for anything lower than a 7…it’s a goal I’ve been working on for years and finally achieved it!) HUGE win for me! I just wish I was able to celebrate it more.

2.  Lemon-flavored Cheerios. Tastes just like Froot Loops! Woohoo! Prob is, it’s a limited edition flavor, so we bought out the entire shelf at the store to make sure I had enough. LOL! I’m not kidding.

3.  Support. Without my friends and family helping me laugh through my tears, I truly don’t know how I could get through all this. You all give me a reason to live and I love you from the bottom of my heart!