Dear Nacho,

I have to start off by saying that I’m thoroughly enjoying that today is your cousin’s holiday – National Taco Day!!  I just wish he was here to celebrate it as well… the insult at my lunch table was an imposter and only a big juicy plate of YOU was able to save me.  No worries, I’ll be making sure he makes a presence everyday for the rest of the week to make up for that fact.  🙂  #burgersshmurgers  #tacotuesdayiseveryday #thinkingoutsideofthebun…whichIcan’thaveanyway #bong…eatataco

So, to get to the real meat (and cheese) of today’s vent…when someone repeats something you just said in a meeting, that’s annoying.  When 50 cars crawl to a stop on the highway to look at a weed on the side of the road, that’s even more annoying.  But what about those situations that involve professionals and life-saving procedures (that never seem to happen) with no one to blame??  It’s not annoying, it’s flat out frustrating!  It’s so easy to get annoyed at the person in the meeting, or every single driver in that traffic jam because I have a target to focus all that annoyance on.   There’s a clear solution to something that is not being seen by anyone but me (clearly), and in my mind, things would be so much more efficient/quicker/better if I was handling it.  Or so, that’s what I’m thinking.  Then, I talk myself “off the ledge” so-to-speak by talking smack about them (in my head), curse them under my breath, and blame every fault of the day on that one person just because they were there…and I feel better about it, the problem goes away and I rejoice in it.  Does that make me a hateful person?  Nah…  usually it’s just my frustration venting itself in a very targeted and bitchy way, and is normally never even made known by anyone around me.  Five minutes later, I usually don’t even remember what I was annoyed about or even who was involved!  Wait… that maaaaayyyy just be old age….

I had my CT scan done of my liver several weeks ago now, and was told I’d have the results of the scan within 24 hours.  Ever since, it’s been a comedy of errors that don’t seem to have a scapegoat.  They want to compare the new scan images with the images that were done several months ago in a different hospital to compare for changes.  Well, first, the images they tried to view were of my legs!  Um… they may be connected to the same body and start with the same letter, but I’m not sure they’ll be much help for my transplant!  So, then they had to request the other hospital to resend the first images.   The files they sent couldn’t be accessed by their computer programs.  Then the radiologist who was supposed to look them over went on vacation for a week (um… he can’t go NOW!  Doesn’t he know who I am??  hee…)  Then they sent a courier back to the other hospital  to get another copy of the first scans and those were unreadable as well.  It’s not like these teams haven’t done this before!  This isn’t their first rodeo… they are both very high caliber hospitals who deal with these types of situations on a daily basis.  So, just as I vented my frustration to my coordinator, I find out she’s out of the office for a week!  Seriously!  When will I ever get these dang results??   I not only am dying to know what they were able to find/not find and if I’m going to have to start worrying about another health issue to fix, but I’m having to continue to put everything on hold until we find out!  My job, my travel, Glenn’s testing, my doctors all wanting to move forward with THEIR plans for me, my friends and family… there are lots of people waiting on this decision, so it’s not just me.   What makes it even more frustrating is I have no one to focus my frustration on or curse out.  There is no one single person responsible, no one to point at and say “you’re ruining my day and it’s YOUR fault my taco tasted like crap today!”  So I stew.  I rack my brain with “what if’s” in order to plan for every outcome, and burn through every “relaxing” candle I have at home to ease those thoughts.  Because at this point, what else can I do?  It’s out of my hands, and all I can do is just wait…   So, the long, corn “wrap” of this story is I don’t have the results, I’m still on hold, and I’ve got nothing yet.

Now, are you hungry???  I’ve got some ideas of what’s for dinner…

************

Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  My new haircut even looks good when it’s in it’s growing out “shaggy” stages.  LOL!

2.  My new sunglasses – I’m the first one in our company to try out our new lenses!  Go Xperio!

3.  That Fall has begun!  Even though it’s still a bit warm out, I can feel it getting a bit cooler… and I LOVE it!  Football, leaves changing, hot cocoa, sweaters… my fave season.