While I’ve been told many times that I have the patience of Job, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I HATE waiting. Some things, I get it, are worth waiting for, like perfectly cooked brownies or the anticipation of of an exciting trip…and of course love and kidneys and yada yada yada… but there are some times when I just want something NOW. Like answers! Like green lights and…you thought I was going to say “tacos”, didn’t you… hee… you aren’t wrong. 😉

Last week, my family met with my cardiologist to go over the results of my viability test and were completely let down when he said that the results were inconclusive. Apparently, the test they did was not the exact one he wanted to do because they didn’t have the Thalium “ingredient” they needed to show the results he needed to see. They didn’t have it, not because they were out of it, but because the manufacturers don’t make it anymore! So, he’s having to reach out to his doctor connections and see if anyone has it or knows of an alternative test that would show what he needs to see. Which means more tests for me to do…yay! I’m left standing like an angry little kid stomping my foot thinking, “No! I want to know exactly what is happening NOW so we can get this sh** done and over with…and then we can continue down my transplant route and get THAT over with!” He told us that he’d let us know this week what he’s able to find.

So we wait. Again. I feel like most of this time leading up to any of these surgeries is just waiting. Such a waste of time in my opinion, because in the meantime, I’m stuck hooked up to a machine feeling like crap and not being able to do the things I really want to be doing! (I say this in my little bratty girl voice knowing full well I’m just one of MANY in the exact same situation waiting patiently for their turn to get better too.)

The good news is that he’s not in a rush. (Bratty girl: yeah, speak for yourself! Glad YOU have all the time in the world on your hands!) Which also means that there is no emergency, and that is actually a big relief. If I was in grave danger, he would have admitted me a few weeks ago and had a rush surgery then. However, knowing that he has time to figure out the best way to handle the situation makes me feel like it’s worth the wait and that he’s not rushing into something that could cause more damage then good. So, just as Leslie Odom, Jr. sang in Hamilton, “I’m willing to wait for it.”

In the meantime, an update on my donors. Anyone who wishes to donate an organ has to go through an evaluation that is just as thorough as my evaluation. The transplant team wants to make sure that along with the organ, the DONOR is healthy enough to handle the surgery and the following recovery. The donor, to them, is the priority. If they find anything at all that would put the donor at risk, they will not submit them as a viable option. So far, all three of the heroes who have offered to donate have come back with possible issues that have disqualified/could disqualify them as options as it might put THEM at risk. I don’t want any of them to be at risk in any way, so I’m glad they found these things out because, hopefully it will allow the donors to fix what the doctors saw and make THEM more healthy! They might not have known these issues where present had they not gone through the evaluation! So, that’s why I’m putting the donation link at the bottom of my posts moving forward. I’ve got to keep my options open! I’m still open to the idea of a cadaver donor, however, a living donor is the quickest and longest lasting option. So, in case any of you know of someone who is interested in donation, please send them the link below and tell them it’s for me. 🙂

Link to donate – http://www.LivingDonorFortWorth.org

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Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  I’m in no immediate danger and that my cariologist has the time to find the right solution for me.

2.  TikTok. I can spend hours going down that dark rabbit hole…cry-laughing the whole way!

3.  Streaming. I have been able to knock out tons of podcasts and movies/shows while sitting through dialysis.

4. Sebastian Maniscalco, Conan O’Brien, and Kevin Hart. My favorite comedians. Just looking at them make me laugh!