Give me a sec as I wipe off the dust layers on my keyboard… I clearly haven’t been here in awhile.

Ok, so where was I? Hmmm… oh yeah. (I’m picturing the grandfather in Princess Bride here…but you can use your own imagery!) So, there I was surrounded by… haha… just kidding. That’s someething my dad would say. My heart. Well, it’s still beating! I finally was able to redo my viability test with a new test product at the Baylor Plano Heart Medical Center and the results were bittersweet. The good news is that I’m not going to have an open heart surgery! The bad news is that I’m not going to have an open heart surgery. They were able to see that certain parts of my heart are officially dead and they are unable to perform a bypass surgery in those areas (the ones that need it) with success. Apparantly, they’ve been dead for about 10 years too! It’s very strange to hear that parts of my heart are actually DEAD. (Although, I assure you, my heart is still alive and kicking in all senses of the term! Hee…) Physically, the parts that need help won’t be fixed surgically. The plan instead is to insert more stents to help open up the passages that are blocked – which will be done in the next few weeks. The rest of my heart, he said, was doing GREAT!

Unfortunately, that also means I won’t be getting a pancreas, and for some stupid reason, that’s all I’ve been able to focus on. I’ve had Diabetes for so long that I’m ready to get rid of it! I was holding on to such a strong hope that I might be free of this dreaded thing for at least a few years. Also, getting both a pancreas and kidney together meant that my wait time wasn’t as long (it’s considered a higher priority). Nevermind the fact that my heart is a more serious issue and that it put me in more danger than any of my other issues, all I could think of was that it was holding me off from getting my transplant. So dumb to think of it that way, but that’s how my train of thought was last time too. I am trying to refocus my thoughts differently and be more appreciative of the fact that in general, my heart is still doing great! I should be more thankful that I am not having to have this huge open-heart surgery now! I need to be more aware of what a great job and effort my cardiologist has been doing in saving me and being very open and honest with my visits. He’s never skirted the issue and has always been very empathetic to my situation (and my family and I as well)! He did also say that I’m still a great candidate for the 2nd kidney and that he was going to continue to back me up on that effort. Thank God!

So, what does this all mean? Well, after I get my stents, they’ll just keep a close eye on the progress of it’s healing, and if need be, follow up with more stents since surgery isn’t an option. I’ll also be able to move forward on my transplant prep again. I’m also going to start looking for a job to help me earn a few bucks while waiting for my transplant. The fact that if my donors don’t work out, I’m in for a longer wait (possibly 3-5 years), I’ll absolutely need to start working again. I’m DYING not being able to “do my thing” on a daily basis anyway, so it will be a good thing!

In summary, every situation that doesn’t work out as planned always presents an opportunity to grow. So with Thanksgiving coming up, while it sucks that my Plan A isn’t going to work, I am thankful that there is a Plan B and I’m going to be A-OK! 🙂

Link to donate – http://www.LivingDonorFortWorth.org

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Things I’m thankful for today:

1.  My friends who walked me through their bypass surgery experiences to help ease my anxiety. You guys are warriors and I’m so thankful your lives have been saved!

2.  I’ve mentioned to my sister several times now, if it weren’t for my family right now, I’d be homeless – thanks Disability for taking your sweet time getting into my account. I’m still waiting!

3.  I was able to reconnect with some long-lost friends at my high school reunion this month! While I missed seeing some of my close friends, it was really cool to catch up with those I haven’t seen in almost 30 years!

4. I’m also thankful I don’t look as old as some of those people at the reunion. HAHAHHA… at least in my head I still feel that I”ve been able to hold on to at least SOME of my youth! ;D